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Relationship abuse can happen to anyone, a lot of people think domestic abuse is about violence. It’s not. Sometimes violence isn’t used at all.

What is emotional abuse?

Some people use emotional abuse to control people. These signs can be more difficult to spot, but could include:

• Getting angry when you want to spend time with your friends

• Isolating you from friends and family

• Threatening to spread rumours about you

• Saying things like “If you loved me you would…”

• Putting you down all the time, using names like ‘frigid’ or ‘slut’ to control what you do, humiliate you and destroy your self-esteem

• Trying to control your life (telling you how to dress, who you hang out with and what you say)

• Threatening to harm you or to self–harm if you leave them

• Demanding to know where you are all the time

• Monitoring your calls and emails, threatening you if you don’t respond instantly

• Getting really angry, really quickly

• Using force during an argument

• Blaming others for their problems or feelings

• Being verbally abusive

• Using threatening behaviour towards others

• Pressuring you to send them nude pictures

If someone is lesbian, gay, bi or transgender and not ‘out’, their partner might threaten to ‘out’ them if they don’t do what they want.

If you are under 19 and want support with your relationship click here to contact us.